Here goes... again.

So here I am again, avoiding all my worldly responsibilities, doing what I do best: procrastinating.  I seem to have an amazingly uncanny ability to find ways to waste time doing anything (ANYTHING) except what I actually should be doing.  This is at least my third attempt at a decent blog.  This time I mean serious business.  That is until I get distracted and completely forget I even have a blog.  

It has long been established by many reliable sources (well mostly me, but after enduring my continual insistence many of my friends have wearily agreed) that my life and thought patterns are ridiculous enough to warrant a bad reality tv show.  Or at least one of those amusing books that people read in the bathroom.  I've never been one to read in the bathroom (lately I've been playing Angry Birds) but I'm pretty sure that's my target audience.  

In the past there have been at least 3 different blogular manifestations of the ramblings of my brain. All have failed. Miserably.

Blog #1 "Randomness I Call Me"

Focussed on my new found freedom and shenanigans when I moved from a tiny northern Minnesota town to attend the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis.  Highlights included joining a fraternity, pregnancy scares, people watching on public transportation, puking rainbows, coming out, and the complete unbridled impulsiveness that is my existence. I had a solid following of readers and I genuinely enjoyed writing about my life.

Why it failed: Censorship.  At one point over the summer, I published a post from my parent's home computer.  My mother is a phenomenal woman whom I love dearly.  However, the woman is an amazing detective.  She knows EVERYTHING.  If she doesn't know, she will find out.  She also has this terrifying ability of being able to trick you into confessing to wrongdoings you merely considered perpetrating.  So during one of her sleuthing missions, she discovered my glorious blog in all of it's delinquent hilarity.  Needless to say, she was not impressed.  I attempted to continue writing, but knowing I had to censor my thoughts, keeping everything PG, felt like a sham.  I felt like a phony.  I also did not want to disappoint my readers.  So it was abandoned.

Fast forward a year.

Blog #2 "Not Your Average Joe"

This one seemed to have lost the humor and soul of my original blog.  I was still gun shy about censorship. I also switched services, so had no idea how to build up readership again.  

Why if failed: In addition to the aforementioned lack of humor and or soul, I was severely depressed.  I was now completely out of the closet, but had lost the close relationship with one of my sisters. She told me she had already "done her grieving" for me. And that was that.  I also had just had my heart ripped from my chest and ground into a bloody pulp. Via text message.  My life lacked direction.  I got tired of writing really emo posts. That's not who I am.  If I didn't enjoy reading my ramblings, who the hell else would? So it too fell by the wayside.

Blog #3 ????

I think it was a Livejournal.  It was doomed before it started.  More post break up emo bullshit. Done. 

Blog #4 The Musings of a Social Chameleon (not to be confused with this current edition)

I switched blog services yet again.  This blog was to be my triumphant return to the blogging world.  I was going to be funny. I was going to be famous like Tucker Max, Allie from Hyperbole and a Half, or The Oatmeal. (Except I can't draw to save my life).  My life at the time was prime for awesomeness.  I worked 3 different jobs with a lot of interesting people.  I got paid to get people drunk, old women shoved money down my pants frequently (that's a story for another time) and I got to laugh at business men who came to the front desk of the hotel claiming they did not order a pay per view movie.  Are you sure sir?  I see here you watched 12 and a half minutes of "Naughty Asian Schoolgirls 7."  Don't worry maybe next time you can watch it longer...    

Why it failed: I have a very short attention span.  I totally and completely forgot about it.  Also, I packed up my entire life and left everyone I know and love behind and moved from my beloved Minneapolis, MN to Chicago.  It was while actually writing this post, (in the middle of "Blog #2) that I remembered it even existed.  The posts consisted of an archive of old emails from when I was living in Venezuela and several complaints about Minneapolis metrotransit.  It included such colorful posts as:

"The bus smells like vomit. Buen provecho"

"Hobo BO"

"Vagrant Fragrance"

I kind of had a one track mind at the time...

Fast forward a Year

Blog #5 Musings of a Social Chameleon (Notice the lack of "the" at the beginning. Crucial difference.)

This brings us full circle to where I am now and this current assemblage of nonsense I call thoughts.  I am now living alone in Chicago.  Single.  In my first year of law school, although I frequently wonder why...  

I have left behind all my friends and family from MN but I have been extremely lucky and have fallen into  a great crowd of amazing people here.  They keep me sane and prevent me from running away to join the circus.  Well actually my intense fear of clowns prevents me from joining the circus.  Also, I dont think I could live in a trailer with a bearded woman.

I am hoping this will be a great outlet to immortalize the fleeting thoughts that my ADHD riddled mind forgets as soon as I stop laughing.  I plan to share the many stories of stuff that could only happen to  me as I clumsily stumble through life.  It will also be a great way for me to vent.  Although I don't want to bitch too much.  Because then even I will stop reading.  

So, Here goes... again.